Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
