Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
