i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
