We're facebook friends in real life
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
