Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
