3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
