Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
