So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I fill condoms, not promises.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
