your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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