and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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