Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
