It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
40s are totally the cure
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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