my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
