I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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