I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
