I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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