That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
