smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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