just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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