You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
