woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
