Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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