Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
