Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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