Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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