I hate all girls vehemently.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
