I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
