The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I think I won the penis lottery.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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