I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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