judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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