Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
