I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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