you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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