these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
