He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you made out with another girl for some wings
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
