i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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