does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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