it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
