my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
