Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
