you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
