Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's never too late to be topless.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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