I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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