Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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