i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
