sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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