Michael Bay diarrhea
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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