we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
