Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Are we in a gay sports bar?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
