I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
