so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
