Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just gargled with NyQuil
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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