I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
